Yesterday Victor and I were talking, and I asked him what his biggest concern about being in a relationship with me was; his answer is one I've heard before. "You have no drive. Aren't you interested in working and having a career? What do you want to do?" I am so over having my life being marginalized. I was a mother and a homemaker. I home educated my children, one who has a college degree, and the other started her own business and sells her art work world wide. I shared a medical claims business with my ex, worked for my doctor and bartered my healthcare. I sold my art work, handiwork and vintage items I found thrifting, on Etsy. I've done gigs as a stylist, seamstress, interior decorator, housecleaner, and have spent hundreds of hours doing volunteer work, and childcare for others. I did these things while in an abusive, controlling, unstable environment.
Am I interested in a career at 60? Not right now. I spent forty years trapped and working for someone else, denied all the normal life experiences other people enjoy. What I want to do is live, have adventures and experiences, eat up life. Yes, I will have to get a job, or start a business, but doing what, I don't know. I think growing and becoming a more rounded person will help me realize that.
Saturday I sold cheese at the city market. I had a great time talking to people, and sold more cheese than anyone ever has before.
Saturday evening we went to a friends house for wine and appetizers, met other friends at the cidery, then moved that party to Hillman beer for late night burgers...I've never had an evening like that before and it was alot of fun.
Flowers from the market.
Having an adventurous life filled with experiences all the while avoiding all the pitfalls of addiction, poor health, emotional drama, toxic people, toxic politics, and all the fear generated by society today...... well that in itself is a full time job. Do what do, fuck other peoples opinions and expectations.
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