I try to facetime with my mom every morning; check in to see how she and Dick are doing. Today she wanted to talk to me about my personality. She said even as an infant, I had a strong personality. She would lay blankets on the floor and pile my toys on there for me to play with, which I never did. Instead I would use my elbows to pull myself around the house, exploring. When I started walking at seven months, I would push a chair to the kitchen counter, and climb up to see what was there; I remember doing that, and Im pretty sure I discovered a chocolate cake. I never wanted to be still, and was curious about everything. My parents also had to turn my crib upside down like a cage because I kept getting out at night. At fifteen months, when my brother was born, I gave him my bottle, and became his spokesperson, letting my mom know what he needed or wanted. And even as a baby, I was very private. I've always been smart and a quick learner; n the words of my mother, I am independent, adventerous, private, caring, sharing, smart, and like a bit of danger.
It was good to hear that this morning, since unbeknownst to my mom, I was struggling with peoples expectations of who I am, just last night. I'm still private, and pretty quiet; it takes a long time for me to get comfortable with someone, and show them who I really am, and I don't do well expressing my feelings; I communicate best through writing. And while I'm smart and could do well at any job, there is still the yearning, and restlessness in my soul, to go out and taste, feel and fully experience the world; I'm not good at being still.
Thank you mom for validating me.
(photo from 2013)
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